i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
