it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
