I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
My vagina just recognized that song.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
