Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
