i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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