It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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