i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
