we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
