i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize