i think my tv is drunk
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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