Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
