I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
