found the other keg... it's in the tree
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
