Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
