i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
