then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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