Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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