I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
