I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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