Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
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