There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
