a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Also, beer. Big fan.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
