I think scott just propositioned me for sex
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
You're a waste of cheezeits
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
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