She said her name was "party"
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
