Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
