So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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