im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
