Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
