i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
