Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
