Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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