OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize