k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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