Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
