You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Randomize
