he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
