I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
