I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
