Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
