so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
