I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
