How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
