A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
