I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
