Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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