She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize