4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize