Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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