I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
