took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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