I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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