I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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