No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
