Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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