I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
You're breaking my sexual little heart
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
