If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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