your thong is hanging out like whoa
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Randomize
