Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Randomize
