i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
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