remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I will pee on everything he values.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Randomize
