Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
