problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
